A Dark And Enlightening Journey: Part 5 of 10

PROJECT OVERVIEW

If you read this blog on any kind of regular basis you probably know that Borg Queen is a multidisciplinary art project where I get to use literally every creative and technical discipline that I've ever been trained in. For each song that I write, I do a painting to visually convey the concept behind the song because the way I look at is that why not use as many mediums as possible to explore all the facets of the idea I'm communicating through sight and sound. My latest album Sex, Drugs and Shiny Brass Poles is 10 songs, 10 paintings and 3 music videos telling the story of how I learned the some of the most important lessons in life from working as a stripper. Each post in this series will be a detailed analysis of each song and painting from the album. Today's piece is my musical equivalent of Nine Inch Nails' Hurt(famously covered by Johnny Cash)...The Bottom Of The Glass.

THE BOTTOM OF THE GLASS

The Bottom Of The Glass is the 5th piece in the series and is about hitting rock bottom. The preceding song Hedonist is the in your face revelation of the domestic abuse, pain and dysfunction that I was dealing with at the time by self medicating with drugs and alcohol abuse. The final line of Hedonist

"I need an anesthetic, to numb me to you"

is very purposefully blended in the lyrical sense to the opening line of The Bottom Of The Glass,

"With the last drop of anesthetic I swallow, I see the bottom of the glass"

I wanted to show the relationship between the two songs by reiterating the concept of an anesthetic being used as a form of escapism from a horrific life situation involving domestic violence. The Bottom Of The Glass is the realization that in the process of self medication I was actually killing myself and needed help. At the end of the song is my cry for help...

"Save me from myself, my life, this world of glass, let me have another day outside the glass"

SYMBOLS

The Empty Glass: Empty like my soul, when I hit rock bottom. Transparent, because I was finally being honest with myself as to why I was such a hedonist. The opening of the glass is also not visible to indicate that the subject cannot see a way out of her prison.

The Female Subject: Naked with only her own arms to hold her, cold and alone. Her eyes are closed, meditative and contemplating her fate.

Buy this painting!

Fine Art Print Available here https://www.borg-queen-music.com/paintings

MUSIC AND LYRICS

The song is atmospheric with layers and textures painting a picture with sound. The intent was to create a hauntingly sad song conveying the despair and depression I was experiencing while coming to terms with the magnitude of a mess I had created for myself. The song can be purchased as part of the ablum or as a single on my WEBSITE 

The Bottom Of The Glass

With the last drop of anesthetic I swallow 
I see the bottom of the glass 
I've drowned my pain and killed my joy 
I poured out my soul 
There's nothing left 
I've become this vessel I'm hollow 

There is no tomorrow can't see my past 
I fell into the bottom of the glass 
The party's over, everyone's gone 
I am trapped inside 
No where to go 
Inside this place I'm fading fast 

Death greets me but I don't want to follow 
The end is at the bottom of the glass 

I can't stop drowning myself in this hell I created 
This is no way to live, but I'm not ready to die 
I don't want to die, but I'm killing myself 
I can't face what I've become so I just numb the world away 

I try to look up and see a way out 
Life's still a dim prospect 
With nobody to help me from out of my cage 
I've fallen again 
With each sip I take I throw myself away x4 

I'm waste inside the bottom of the glass 
Will I ever see the light again 
Save me from myself, my life this world of glass 
Let me have another day outside this glass

BUY THE BOTTOM OF THE GLASS