A Whore No More!

I'm a whore. Now, I know that you may be thinking...

What the fuck?
Really?
Why would you even admit that?
That's not something you should be flaunting online for the world to see!

While I'm not someone who exchanges sex for money, I am a big old whore nonetheless. For the past few years I've earned an income as an interior designer and I absolutely HATE it. I dread going to work everyday. I dread dealing with clients, and I hate the industry in general. I just do it for the money.

I feel degraded every time I have to absorb my client's rants, complaints and verbal abuse, and I just  want to scream at them, 

"YOUR HOUSE IS JUST A THING! RENOVATING IT ISN'T GOING TO FILL THE VOID IN YOUR LIFE, AND IT WON'T MAKE YOU HAPPY! JUST BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU HAVE SHELTER AND THE FINANCIAL MEANS TO IMPROVE IT!!!!" 

But I can't. It's not good for business, and the bottom line is... the bottom dollar. That is why I am a whore. I've let the bottom dollar control my life and it's made me miserable.

There is a light in all of this though. My life purpose is to create music and art and hopefully touch other peoples lives through my creations. I've decided to give up my "daytime whore job" as I've come to call it and dedicate my 9-5 time to making music and art full time! This is a huge leap of faith on my part because I'll be relying on my night job which is mostly tips to sustain me financially. I have faith and I am going to trust that all my financial needs will be met. 

I'm not religious, but I do believe that there is a Higher Power that will help me along my life path, and as long as I am being who I am supposed to be then I will be blessed in my endeavors.It's hard for me to admit sometimes that I am a person of faith because a lot of people will automatically label me as a religious kook. There's an extremely negative stigma associated with religion and it's hard for some to wrap their mind around the fact that one can have faith and not be religious. 

However, I digress, this post wasn't supposed to be about religion vs. faith, it was about me publicly announcing that I AM A WHORE NO MORE! What really excites me about this is that I'll be able to get so much more done, so much faster which means that you won't have to wait as long for the release of my album and music videos! In the meantime I'm offering a preview of a rough mix for We're All Whores which will be one of the tracks on my upcoming album. It sums up perfectly the trap that I think we all succumb to at some point in our lives.

For Artist's Normality(much like Nickelback) Is Highly Overrated

I am not normal. It's always been quite appearant that's the case, but here I am announcing it across cyberspace for everyone out there.

The status quo has more often than not illuded me. I've never quite understood why people base their choices of clothing, interior decorating, music, art, recreational activites on what's popular and by default normal. Why does someone paint their walls beige when clearly their favourite color is fuschia? Why are all the toys marketed to little girls pink? Why does almost every bride wear a white or off white dress when it's not necessarily a flattering color on her? Why are there so many Nickelback fans when the music itself is cookie-cutter generic pop-rock and Chad Kroeger's lyrics are so glaringly thick-headed and misogynistic?

The answer is fear. People are afraid to be different even if it means suppressing their true feelings, desires and selves. People are afraid of what other people think. Humans are innately self-centred making them self-conscious by nature. Artists who are successful are those people who firstly have been able to get past the fear of expressing their true self, and secondly get past the fear of failure that would prevent them from following their dreams.

As an artist(someone who is not normal) fear is the ultimate stumbling block for my ability to create. It's literally the only thing that can stop me. As a child I didn't play with pink things. I had a chemistry set and crayons. Heaven forbid I ever paint a wall beige! I paint murals on my walls at home, thank you very much. My first wedding dress was black and if I ever get married again I'll wear red. Why? Well, the real question is...why not? I like all of these things & they interest me, they turn me on, they're a reflection of my personal tastes and personality. I've come to realize that I do my best work artistically speaking whether it be acting, painting, singing, dancing or playing music when I get past the fear and just be myself, and as long as I just keep being myself I will never fail at anything I do...artistically speaking.