A Dark And Enlightening Journey: Part 7 of 10

PROJECT OVERVIEW

If you read this blog on any kind of regular basis you probably know that Borg Queen is a multidisciplinary art project where I get to use literally every creative and technical discipline that I've ever been trained in. For each song that I write, I do a painting to visually convey the concept behind the song because the way I look at is that why not use as many mediums as possible to explore all the facets of the idea I'm communicating through sight and sound. My latest album Sex, Drugs and Shiny Brass Poles is 10 songs, 10 paintings and 3 music videos telling the story of how I learned the some of the most important lessons in life from working as a stripper. Each post in this series will be a detailed analysis of each song and painting from the album. Today's piece is It's Over.

IT'S OVER

It's Over is a break up song. It's me ending all the unhealthy relationships I had cultivated over the 7 years prior. I ended my relationship with my abusive spouse, my unhealthy relationship with booze, drugs and money, but most importantly I ended my abusive relationship with myself. The song can be summarized in pretty much this one line from the bridge.

"Fuck You! I'm done! Fuck it all, I don't want to fall back in love with you again. Back in hell with you again"

SYMBOLS

The Bride: The bride is a pretty obvious symbol given the context of the lyrics. She sits calmly staring a a broken wine glass.

The Broken Wine Glass: Again, I love my visual symbols to have several meanings. In some Western particularly religious wedding ceremonies the bride and groom drink wine from the same glass. The smashed glass is the symbolic end to the relationship. Also, the broken wine glass symbolizes the end of addiction.

The Wilted Flowers: Another symbol of the death of relationships.

Buy this painting!

Fine Art Print Available here https://www.borg-queen-music.com/paintings

MUSIC AND LYRICS

The song is a bouncy dance rock song with a defiant tone. The song can be purchased as part of the album or as a single on my WEBSITE  

For a limited time let's say until midnight on May 20th, I will make It's Over available as a FREE DOWNLOAD

It's Over

I don’t wanna go to your after party
I don’t wanna fuck your fat wad of money
I don’t need your backstage pass cause you don’t get me off
And I am done whoring myself out
To further your cause
It’s over, It’s over, It’s over
It’s all over

I’m living it for me now
I’m no longer your slave now
I’m not your bitch anymore and I’m done with you
It was fun while it lasted but you need to know
I can’t stay here and rot, so I’ve got to let you go

I don’t have to sit here and let you fuck me up
And I don’t have to pretend that what you give is good enough
And I don’t need your empty promises or your alleged love
I’m not desperate enough
To be settling for this
It’s over, It’s over, It’s over, It’s so over
It’s over, It’s over, It’s over
It’s all over

I’m living it for me now
I’m no longer your slave now
I’m not your bitch anymore and I’m done with you
It was fun while it lasted but you need to know
I can’t stay here and rot, so I’ve got to let you go

So take your cheap words and swallow them
I hope you choke and die
Go swimming in your liquid lies
Go drown in your deception’
Go swimming in your liquid lies
Go drown in your deception’

Fuck you! I’m done! Fuck it all!
I don’t want to fall back in love with you again
Back in Hell with you again

I’m living it for me now
I’m no longer your slave now
I’m not your bitch anymore and I’m done with you
It was fun while it lasted but you need to know
I can’t stay here and rot, so I’ve got to let you go

It’s over, It’s over, It’s over, It’s so over

Get It's Over for FREE!!!

offer expires May 20th, 2017

Embed for It's Over

A Whore No More!

I'm a whore. Now, I know that you may be thinking...

What the fuck?
Really?
Why would you even admit that?
That's not something you should be flaunting online for the world to see!

While I'm not someone who exchanges sex for money, I am a big old whore nonetheless. For the past few years I've earned an income as an interior designer and I absolutely HATE it. I dread going to work everyday. I dread dealing with clients, and I hate the industry in general. I just do it for the money.

I feel degraded every time I have to absorb my client's rants, complaints and verbal abuse, and I just  want to scream at them, 

"YOUR HOUSE IS JUST A THING! RENOVATING IT ISN'T GOING TO FILL THE VOID IN YOUR LIFE, AND IT WON'T MAKE YOU HAPPY! JUST BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU HAVE SHELTER AND THE FINANCIAL MEANS TO IMPROVE IT!!!!" 

But I can't. It's not good for business, and the bottom line is... the bottom dollar. That is why I am a whore. I've let the bottom dollar control my life and it's made me miserable.

There is a light in all of this though. My life purpose is to create music and art and hopefully touch other peoples lives through my creations. I've decided to give up my "daytime whore job" as I've come to call it and dedicate my 9-5 time to making music and art full time! This is a huge leap of faith on my part because I'll be relying on my night job which is mostly tips to sustain me financially. I have faith and I am going to trust that all my financial needs will be met. 

I'm not religious, but I do believe that there is a Higher Power that will help me along my life path, and as long as I am being who I am supposed to be then I will be blessed in my endeavors.It's hard for me to admit sometimes that I am a person of faith because a lot of people will automatically label me as a religious kook. There's an extremely negative stigma associated with religion and it's hard for some to wrap their mind around the fact that one can have faith and not be religious. 

However, I digress, this post wasn't supposed to be about religion vs. faith, it was about me publicly announcing that I AM A WHORE NO MORE! What really excites me about this is that I'll be able to get so much more done, so much faster which means that you won't have to wait as long for the release of my album and music videos! In the meantime I'm offering a preview of a rough mix for We're All Whores which will be one of the tracks on my upcoming album. It sums up perfectly the trap that I think we all succumb to at some point in our lives.

Album Update!

As many of you may know when it comes to my studio recordings, I'm essentially a one woman show. I write, record and produce everything myself with the exception of having a studio engineer when I'm recording vocals. It has it's set of advantages for sure. I get to have full creative control and don't have to deal with all the ego competition that goes along with having a band or butting heads with a producer over creative differences.

The disadvantage of doing everything myself is that it takes a lot longer.  I now finally have all of the vocals recorded, but now I am faced with the daunting task of having to edit vocals and pitch correct everything. It's hours, upon hours of mind numbing tedious work, and when I close my eyes at night all I see is waveforms. Don't get me wrong though, I love a challenge, and it's a great learning experience, and the more I do it the faster and better I get at it.

The good news is that all my hard work is paying off because I do have the vast majority of my rough mixes done for the album. I've decided to share a couple of my mixes with you. I've heard that it's a big no-no to post unfinished work on the interwebs, but I've never been one to follow the rules so, here's a couple previews of what I've been working on so far. Bare in mind they are ROUGH mixes so all the shit that gets done to them to make them broadcast quality hasn't been done yet.

New Album Art For Hedonist

For those of you who don't already know this, for each song that I write I also do a painting to convey visually the concept behind the song. I'm currently mixing my song Hedonist which is about a time in my life when I was in an abusive relationship. The strange thing about abuse is that it's a vicious cycle that perpetuates itself. In my case, I was being abused mentally and physically, and instead of breaking the cycle of abuse by leaving the situation, I stayed and medicated myself by indulging in various forms of hedonism, the most notable being alcohol, drugs, over-eating and sex addiction. My drugs of choice were enough of an escape to make a terrible situation bearable enough to endure despite the fact that I was squandering my life away and my addictions were transforming me into an entirely different person. Unfortunately, that person I became was someone who didn't give a fuck about anything, and the intelligent, creative, passionate person that I truly am was buried for several years.

My artwork for Hedonist is a visual representation of the concept of an addiction transforming a person into and alter ego and simultaneously mutilating and destroying the individual who has allowed themselves to remain the victim.

Cover Art for Hedonsit - The Birth Of Venus De Milo

Gettin' Down To Business(sexy business that is)

Today I spent most of my time at my interior design day job applying for a FACTOR grant. For those of you who don't know what FACTOR is, it's The Foundation Assisting Canadian Talent on Recordings. The Canadian talent in question is me! Yup, I'm Canadian, talented and in dire need of assistance, financially speaking.  Anyway, I digress as usual, but the point is that things are really moving forward with getting Lapdance Romance to being a commercially released single. Hooray!

As far as the studio sessions go, I'm having a blast recording with Ryan. We're both equally as depraved which is great when the song your working on is super sexually charged. We did guitars last time and the goal was to convey an orgasm using guitar in a part of the song. Needless to say, we succeeded and this song is going to be sexy as hell and give many a listener an eargasm. I know it gets my blood boiling. Well, that's enough about what a pervert I am, but I've always been a firm believer that art has to originate from an honest place.

Also, I'm pleased to announce that the Borg Queen store is open for business, so now all of you art fans out there can purchase giclee prints of the art for Sex, Drugs & Shiny Brass Poles. So, if you wanna support me as an artist and help me cover the costs of making the album, you can go to the store and buy some art now and feel all warm and fuzzy inside for being such a gosh darn nice person and helping an independent artist launch their career. I'd also like to note that as an extra added incentive for you hipsters out there that buying my art right now will only make you that much cooler, because it proves that you were a fan of Borg Queen WAY before everybody else.

So to sum it all up  in a neat little package(heh heh I said package)I couldn't be more please with how things are moving along and this is the most vital I've felt in a long time.

p.s. Buy some art!

MONEY! The cause of and solution to all my problems.

Artists are slaves to their art, but money makes slaves of us all.

Ah money. How I loathe thee, but if I only had more my life would be so much easier. I learned a long time ago that money does not make me happy, but it sure as hell would make my artistic career aspirations come to fruition a LOT sooner and with greater ease. I find myself faced with the same old dilemma that most artists, whether they be actors, musicians or really any self employed creative individual is faced with. How do I get the money that I need to launch my career and support myself, and still have enough time to work on my career while balancing my stupid(and often low paying) regular Joe job and working on the career that I really love and want to do?

Starting out in any business is not easy, and the music business is no exception. I need money to finish my album and produce my show based on the album I'm writing, and let me tell ya, my regular jack-off job as an interior designer ain't cuttin' it. Yes, I have enough money to live and put food on the table, but there's barely any extra to throw into my music. It also doesn't help that I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world where the cost of living is ridiculous! Don't get me wrong, I love Vancouver and I certainly wouldn't want to live anywhere else in Canada given a choice, and where else am I going to find the resources, people, and market to launch an arts and entertainment career in Canada? Toronto, maybe, but who the hell wants to live there? Angry people who like the Toronto Maple Leafs, acid rain and cold winters, that's who, but that's not me, so here I am struggling to make a living in beautiful, temperate, laid-back Vancouver while trying to scrape together enough cash to make a go of it with my music and art.

So what do I do? Do I turn to the oldest profession and whore myself to upscale clientele at $500/hr(yes, I'm that good)? Hopefully not. My plan A is to determine how much money I need to finish the album and produce the show, and then try to get a business loan from the bank. Of course, this plan presents it's own set of challenges. First, I need to write up a business plan in order to be taken seriously by any financial institution. Thankfully, I have done this before and know what to do. So next, on my ever growing list of things to do is write up a business plan for Borg Queen and present it to the bank, and pray to God that they think I'm as awesome as I think I am and lend me the money I need to continue to follow my dreams. Wish me luck because I'm going to need it.