A Dark And Enlightening Journey: Part 7 of 10

PROJECT OVERVIEW

If you read this blog on any kind of regular basis you probably know that Borg Queen is a multidisciplinary art project where I get to use literally every creative and technical discipline that I've ever been trained in. For each song that I write, I do a painting to visually convey the concept behind the song because the way I look at is that why not use as many mediums as possible to explore all the facets of the idea I'm communicating through sight and sound. My latest album Sex, Drugs and Shiny Brass Poles is 10 songs, 10 paintings and 3 music videos telling the story of how I learned the some of the most important lessons in life from working as a stripper. Each post in this series will be a detailed analysis of each song and painting from the album. Today's piece is It's Over.

IT'S OVER

It's Over is a break up song. It's me ending all the unhealthy relationships I had cultivated over the 7 years prior. I ended my relationship with my abusive spouse, my unhealthy relationship with booze, drugs and money, but most importantly I ended my abusive relationship with myself. The song can be summarized in pretty much this one line from the bridge.

"Fuck You! I'm done! Fuck it all, I don't want to fall back in love with you again. Back in hell with you again"

SYMBOLS

The Bride: The bride is a pretty obvious symbol given the context of the lyrics. She sits calmly staring a a broken wine glass.

The Broken Wine Glass: Again, I love my visual symbols to have several meanings. In some Western particularly religious wedding ceremonies the bride and groom drink wine from the same glass. The smashed glass is the symbolic end to the relationship. Also, the broken wine glass symbolizes the end of addiction.

The Wilted Flowers: Another symbol of the death of relationships.

Buy this painting!

Fine Art Print Available here https://www.borg-queen-music.com/paintings

MUSIC AND LYRICS

The song is a bouncy dance rock song with a defiant tone. The song can be purchased as part of the album or as a single on my WEBSITE  

For a limited time let's say until midnight on May 20th, I will make It's Over available as a FREE DOWNLOAD

It's Over

I don’t wanna go to your after party
I don’t wanna fuck your fat wad of money
I don’t need your backstage pass cause you don’t get me off
And I am done whoring myself out
To further your cause
It’s over, It’s over, It’s over
It’s all over

I’m living it for me now
I’m no longer your slave now
I’m not your bitch anymore and I’m done with you
It was fun while it lasted but you need to know
I can’t stay here and rot, so I’ve got to let you go

I don’t have to sit here and let you fuck me up
And I don’t have to pretend that what you give is good enough
And I don’t need your empty promises or your alleged love
I’m not desperate enough
To be settling for this
It’s over, It’s over, It’s over, It’s so over
It’s over, It’s over, It’s over
It’s all over

I’m living it for me now
I’m no longer your slave now
I’m not your bitch anymore and I’m done with you
It was fun while it lasted but you need to know
I can’t stay here and rot, so I’ve got to let you go

So take your cheap words and swallow them
I hope you choke and die
Go swimming in your liquid lies
Go drown in your deception’
Go swimming in your liquid lies
Go drown in your deception’

Fuck you! I’m done! Fuck it all!
I don’t want to fall back in love with you again
Back in Hell with you again

I’m living it for me now
I’m no longer your slave now
I’m not your bitch anymore and I’m done with you
It was fun while it lasted but you need to know
I can’t stay here and rot, so I’ve got to let you go

It’s over, It’s over, It’s over, It’s so over

Get It's Over for FREE!!!

offer expires May 20th, 2017

Embed for It's Over

Angst Makes For Good Art

So my personal life has been somewhat of a mess lately. The beautiful tapestry that was my relationship with my partner caught a snag about 2 years ago and began to unravel. As it unraveled we made numerous attempts to fix it, but to no avail, it was never the same again. It had become forever marred and over the past month it has become apparent that it's time to just let it go. Saying goodbye to a 4 and a half year relationship that started off with so much promise has been horrifically painful, and it's like walking around with a dagger in a still beating heart. With every pulse I am in agony.

This isn't a relationship blog so I'm not going into any further detail about the break-up, but there is something really great that has come of it all. My acting has never been better! Also my ability to sing and scream at the same time has returned too.

In the past week I was able to record a song that I had written about 2 years ago when my relationship started to really tank. The song wasn't written about my relationship with my then boyfriend, but was actually about me quitting drinking. At the time I started to notice the parallels between my dysfunctional relationship with my boyfriend and my dysfunctional relationship with alcohol, so I wrote "It's Over."

A few months ago I painted the corresponding painting. Interestingly enough it was at a time when it became apparent that the wedding that my then fiancee and I were supposed to have was never going to happen. The use of the bridal imagery and the wedding being cancelled are purely a bizarre coincidence. I didn't realize the connection until my mom asked me if the painting was about the wedding being cancelled. I used the bride because I needed something to symbolize an intimate relationship, and I needed something light colored to contrast against the dark background.

Now that it really is over, the real genuine pain that I feel makes it so much easier to scream-sing making the song much more effective. Also, with my acting I had to film something that required me to do a lot of crying and freaking out. No problem. All I had to do was release the emaotional flood gates and let the pain flow freely. Even in my last acting class my instructor noticed the difference.

Pain is a fact of life none of us can escape, but at least I've been able to take that pain and make some really good art.