Too Many Fucking Hats!

In any business there's a game to be played if you want to get ahead. Music is definitely no exception. Artistically speaking I already wear a bajillion and one hats being a singer/songwriter/composer/instrumentalist/producer/engineer and that's just the musical aspect of what I do with my project Borg Queen. There's also the visual component of my project that has me working as a one woman art department making music videos with production qualities way higher than I really need to in this game called the music biz. Don't get me wrong I love working on all the artistic stuff, and even the technical aspects of it are fascinating and extremely rewarding. I'm not bitching about that at all.

What get's to me is having to promote myself. Social media is the worst. I'm not a social creature, and while I do enjoy getting public recognition for my art because it's something I'm proud of, I hate seeking attention for the sake of getting attention. However, that is part of the game now. I can't JUST be a talented artist, get a record deal and sit in my ivory tower making music while my label promotes me. Those days are gone. Even signed artists have to play the game. Mind you most of the really established ones have someone managing their social media for them.

It's a different game in many ways now, but something that hasn't changed is that it still is all about who you know. One of the best ways of getting "discovered" or just looking credible is getting some press. But how do you get press? The easy, effective but expensive way is to hire a publicist. Not really an option for me right now given that I spent all my money on creating super high quality content and crazy elaborate music videos.

So here I am wearing yet another hat writing press releases and submitting my music to every blogger that covers my genre, that's also linked to Hype Machine. Hype Machine if you're wondering is a very popular music blog aggregator, and if you get your shit on there, then larger publications start taking notice. So, the bottom line is you wanna get yourself some press and get on Hype Machine, so you can get even better press and have MORE people notice you. It's like being in high school all over again. Needless to say I didn't really give a shit about being popular in high school because I was too busy being an artist. Now, I'm too busy trying to be popular plugging my new album that I haven't had enough time to be an artist.

So there's my rant. I don't like wearing all these hats. I just want to be an artist, make music, make cool videos and perform. In case you were wondering what I needed the press for, it's my new album Sex, Drugs & Shiny Brass Poles that you can pre order by clicking on the image below.

If you buy it, I promise to use the money to hire a publicist so that I can return to doing what I do best...creating.

I'm A Dirty Girl

We humans are a filthy breed. Covered in various microorganisms on the outside, our intestines filled with harmful and helpful bacteria battling it out for dominance. As contaminated as our physical form is, it is no competition to how foul and wretched the deepest recesses of our minds and hearts can be reduced to under the right set of conditions.

We may enter this world pure and clean, but none of us leave this life unscathed. Even the most sheltered and naive of our race sustain a few scratches. It is our human condition. We cannot escape adversity. It is the nature of our existence. In fact, overcoming adversity is a necessity for our survival individually and collectively as a species. In this imperfect existence that we must all endure, some of us will face trauma. Some of us will be victims of trauma and will likely perpetuate the suffering we've endured. Often the victim attempts to take control of their pain by becoming an abuser. Sometimes this perpetuation of injury is deliberate and sometimes we simply pass on our stress to those closest to us.

Because of our damaged condition we transform ourselves into inadvertent abusers. Many of us turn our abuse inward. We form destructive habits and addictions. I am no exception. As fortunate as I am to live in a time that couldn't be more ideal for a white, North American woman, I have still endured violence, trauma and pain. As a result, I am a dirty girl, with a filthy mind and polluted heart.

My aim as an artist is to convey the inner recesses of the human psyche, and let's face the truth, as moral as we may try to be the furnishings of our souls will always be covered in thin layer of dirt at best. At worst our interiors are broken, corroded and decaying. Whether it be with my music or visual art I'm adding layers of paint and sound to create texture and covey the complexity of our imperfect condition.

I'd like to show you some examples of how I use technique to integrate artistic intent into the sets and props of my music videos. As an art director I feel that the message of any work of art is more impactful when the technique used to create the visual or sound is mirrored in the concept. One of the more recent examples of this is the fetal growth tank I fabricated for my music video Hedonist. The fetus growing in the tank represents the alter ego that addicts become when they're using.  The tank is corroded and covered in layers of dirt and grime.

Such a tank is by nature dysfunctional, just as the environment is that breeds addiction. I used layer upon layer of paint, glues and textures to create the corrosion, just as it takes layers of dysfunction to create the right environment to grow an addict.

I've come to realize the I do dirty, complex and real very well. I think because I'VE come to terms with the fact that dirty, complex and real is my nature. I'VE accepted it. That doesn't mean however that I didn't hide from it or try to pretty it up with some fancy window dressing. My song We're All Whores is all about exposing our true nature as modern humans by showing that we are all prostitutes to our system of commerce in one way or another. I use stripping as a visual metaphor in the music video to relate this idea. Strippers aren't the only ones stripping in strip clubs. The environment is designed to strip the patrons down to their very base instincts. I ran with this idea a little further and showed the patrons as strippers being stripped down by the strippers. Here's a little teaser clip from the music video.

So why expose the filth that permeates us to our core? Because in order to better ourselves and the world around us we must first address our dysfunction so that we can take responsibility for it and create positive change within ourselves and as a society. 

Fast. Cheap. Good...Pick Two

Holy Shit! It's been about a year since I posted in this blog. I guess my only excuse for not staying on top of posts is that I've been extremely busy with finishing up my album and making music videos.

It's been a very long production process but that's the nature of being an indie artist who doesn't settle for releasing poorly produced content. I don't have a huge budget and I've relied solely on myself to finance everything.

When I used to be an interior designer I would tell my clients that their choices as to how their projects could be completed are fast, cheap and good, but the catch is that they only get to pick two. If they wanted to renovate quickly and on the cheap, the quality would suffer. If they wanted quality work and we're under some serious time constraints it was going to cost them a pretty penny. This principle rings true for any production based industry ie. film, music, construction etc. Because I have chosen to create high quality recordings and videos and I don't have a lot of money to work with, it's not a quick process.

For the music I do everything myself with the exception of final mixes and mastering. I had the good fortune of scoring a fantastic engineer, Adam Fulton, who's worked with Paul McCartney, Will Smith and Master Chief(Halo). Our paths crossed when I took an audio engineering course he was teaching, and he was gracious enough despite his full workload of high profile projects to take me on. However, even when it comes to the mixing I am present in the sessions with Adam. It's been a fantastic learning experience for me on a technical level and also creatively rewarding getting to act as the producer guiding him as to how I would like the layer of sound sculpted to create what we call a "sound painting". Because artistic intent of the songs are very much conveyed by the way the music is produced and engineered on a technical level I felt it would fitting to have my engineer appear as a character in one of my music videos.

Me and my engineer Adam Fulton (3rd from left) on the set of my music video Hedonist.

Speaking of videos though,  I've decided to challenge myself by shooting 4 of them for the singles off my album Sex, Drugs and Shiny Brass Poles. Again, I do all of the pre production work myself, but have managed to score yet another talent director Arcelia Ocaña to shoot the videos. I love working with Arcelia! It's always a "yes" with her. Her positivity and enthusiasm are infectious. Not only does she produce top notch high quality work, but she fully immerses herself into the psychological head space of what ever it is that we happen to be shooting. For Hedonist, we shot a fetish orgy scene and she was yelling everybody on set that day to get "really, really horny." She wanted the sexual energy to permeate the room so that we would be drowning in it creating a truthful experience for the audience.

Arcelia Ocaña(2nd from left) immersing herself into the world of Hedonist that she helps me bring to life.

The fetish orgy scene from Hedonist. 

When it comes to fast, cheap and good, I'll never sacrifice "good" to get something done fast and cheap.  In the long run it's never worth it to cut corners. My art will be around way longer than I will so it may take longer to produce but the end results are totally worth it as can be seen from this teaser footage from my music video We're All Whores.