I'm A Dress Up Whore

I love costumes! I love dressing up! I love escaping the mundane drudgery of everyday life by becoming a character of my own design. 

Growing up in an ultra conservative religious environment meant that Halloween was strictly off limits for me among many other fun things including secular music, all the good TV shows and movies. On top of it all, I went to a private school where we wore the most hideous unflattering uniforms imaginable. Yellow sweater vests with a below the knee pleated gray skirt, I kid you not. It was the worst!!! Now I'm not writing this as a "woe is me, I had such a deprived childhood kind of post," but rather to provide some context for my addiction to designing, making and wearing of costumes in every avenue of my personal and professional life.

My first costume making attempt was in my tweens. Madonna ruled as the queen of pop music and was sporting her Jean-Paul Gaultier iconic cone bra. She looked so powerful and sexy, and I fell in love with that image. I wanted to be that powerful sexy woman entertaining the masses so I figured that making myself a metal cone bra would be a good place to start. I woke up early one morning and busted out some tin foil and attempted to make one. As I was placing the cones over my non-boobs my mom caught me and freaked out. She scolded me on my lewd creation and asked me where I would even get such an idea. I didn't want to tell her that Madonna had inspired me as I figured that admitting to being a fan of secular pop star would get me into even more trouble.

Looking back on it now I'd say that my repressed childhood is probably what spawned the creative and apologetically sexual monster that I am today. 

It wasn't a conscious rebellion by any means. I wasn't just like "fuck society, I'm just going to make myself  into the biggest weirdo I possibly can be." I've just always loved being theatrical with the presentation of my art. As a child escaping into the worlds I got to create through theatre and dance were a form of therapy for me and it was through those characters that I felt I could express facets of myself that would otherwise be chastised by authority figures or my peers.

Even as a stripper I always was conscious of creating a fantasy character for the audience. I know that in all reality all most of the guys really cared about was getting to see me naked, but getting into a sexy character is liberating and that sexual energy transfers on to the audience. I didn't get into stripping to rebel against my conservative upbringing, but it certainly has been a creatively therapeutic experience not to mention a great way to fund my artistic pursuits. Not surprisingly my artistic pursuits invlove designing characters, making costumes and dressing up.

Here's are some of my favourite costumes that I've designed for my music videos. Some of which I am offering as perks in my current crowdfunding campaign here.

We're All Whores Music Video Costumes

I was super stoked for this particular costume because it was my childhood dream of owning a cone bra come true. I even rigged the nipples to squirt "crude oil" as an enviro political statement against the greed driven oil industry that is one of the biggest whore machines out there.

This steampunk cyborg costume is available as a perk on Indigogo

Behold, the aftermath of the cone bra!

Our "Shiny Pretty Whore" costumes that are a seductive green, the color of money.

Hedonist Music Video Costumes

Hedonist is defintely my most ambitious music video both as a concept and a production. It's 4 separate sets and sequences with several costume changes. I'm offering the victorian lingere set that I'm wearing in the still below as another crowdfunding perk. 

My distressed Victorian lingerie is being offered as one of my Indigogo crowdfunding perks here.

The Victorian ballgown-fetishwear costume was designed by me, but the latex and PVC pieces were made by Jenni Wong at Deadly Couture in Vancouver. BC. 

I did however construct the dress cage as seen below.

I will be updating perks and adding additional costume pieces to the campaign. 

Check out the campaign at https://igg.me/at/SexDrugsAlbum

If you see anything that you'd like to have as a perk for contributing feel free to email me borgqueenmusic@gmail.com

I'm A Dirty Girl

We humans are a filthy breed. Covered in various microorganisms on the outside, our intestines filled with harmful and helpful bacteria battling it out for dominance. As contaminated as our physical form is, it is no competition to how foul and wretched the deepest recesses of our minds and hearts can be reduced to under the right set of conditions.

We may enter this world pure and clean, but none of us leave this life unscathed. Even the most sheltered and naive of our race sustain a few scratches. It is our human condition. We cannot escape adversity. It is the nature of our existence. In fact, overcoming adversity is a necessity for our survival individually and collectively as a species. In this imperfect existence that we must all endure, some of us will face trauma. Some of us will be victims of trauma and will likely perpetuate the suffering we've endured. Often the victim attempts to take control of their pain by becoming an abuser. Sometimes this perpetuation of injury is deliberate and sometimes we simply pass on our stress to those closest to us.

Because of our damaged condition we transform ourselves into inadvertent abusers. Many of us turn our abuse inward. We form destructive habits and addictions. I am no exception. As fortunate as I am to live in a time that couldn't be more ideal for a white, North American woman, I have still endured violence, trauma and pain. As a result, I am a dirty girl, with a filthy mind and polluted heart.

My aim as an artist is to convey the inner recesses of the human psyche, and let's face the truth, as moral as we may try to be the furnishings of our souls will always be covered in thin layer of dirt at best. At worst our interiors are broken, corroded and decaying. Whether it be with my music or visual art I'm adding layers of paint and sound to create texture and covey the complexity of our imperfect condition.

I'd like to show you some examples of how I use technique to integrate artistic intent into the sets and props of my music videos. As an art director I feel that the message of any work of art is more impactful when the technique used to create the visual or sound is mirrored in the concept. One of the more recent examples of this is the fetal growth tank I fabricated for my music video Hedonist. The fetus growing in the tank represents the alter ego that addicts become when they're using.  The tank is corroded and covered in layers of dirt and grime.

Such a tank is by nature dysfunctional, just as the environment is that breeds addiction. I used layer upon layer of paint, glues and textures to create the corrosion, just as it takes layers of dysfunction to create the right environment to grow an addict.

I've come to realize the I do dirty, complex and real very well. I think because I'VE come to terms with the fact that dirty, complex and real is my nature. I'VE accepted it. That doesn't mean however that I didn't hide from it or try to pretty it up with some fancy window dressing. My song We're All Whores is all about exposing our true nature as modern humans by showing that we are all prostitutes to our system of commerce in one way or another. I use stripping as a visual metaphor in the music video to relate this idea. Strippers aren't the only ones stripping in strip clubs. The environment is designed to strip the patrons down to their very base instincts. I ran with this idea a little further and showed the patrons as strippers being stripped down by the strippers. Here's a little teaser clip from the music video.

So why expose the filth that permeates us to our core? Because in order to better ourselves and the world around us we must first address our dysfunction so that we can take responsibility for it and create positive change within ourselves and as a society. 

SPOILER ALERT! Preview For Hedonist Music Video Script - Part 2

Today's blog post is Part 2 of a 4 part series where I am giving you a preview of the actual script we'll be using to shoot my upcoming music video Hedonist.

Hedonist the music video has been a huge undertaking. As pleased as I am with my last music video Lapdance Romance, my goal is to make Lapdance Romance look like and idiot compared to Hedonist. Hedonist is going to have 4 sets  with separate action sequences that relate the overall concept of the song visually. I've decided to post the scripts I've written for each set in a 4 part series.

In my first post of this series I revealed the script for The Psychiatrist's Office of  the Mind's Eye. It' lays down the premise and overall concept for the video. The the second of the sets is what I've called...

The Padded Cell of Hedonism

This set is where my character "The Patient" goes to escape the pain of being abused and forms yet another abusive relationship with "Hedonism."

THE PADDED CELL OF HEDONISM

by JENNY KIRBY

Scene 1

INT: Padded Cell

A shiny red vinyl padded cell with Hedonism, a god-like figure

with glistening silver skin reclining on a chaise lounge wearing

an opulent flowing black and silver brocade silk cloak. He is

visually a combination between the Roman god of wine Bacchus and

Gary Oldman as "old Dracula" from the 1992 film Dracula with a

gothic twist.

At Hedonism's feet is a heavily tatooed shirtless slave boy

fanning him. A female slave enters with a bottle of wine on a

tray. She pours Hedonism a glass of wine and hands it to him.

Hedonism chugs back the entire glass and hands it back to the

female slave.

Hedonism claps his hands summoning two nurses each with a slave

on a leash. The nurses inject the slaves with a drug that has an

aphrodisiac effect. The slaves fall to the floor and begin making

out while Hedonism watches with a satisfied look on his face.

Scene 2

INT: Padded Cell

Hedonism reclines on his chaise lounge as he is fanned by a male

slave at his feet and fed hors d'erves by a female slave.

Hedonism is surrounded by an entourage of hedonists dancing,

drinking and making out with each other.

As his face is being stuffed with food, a female hedonist "The

Hedonist" approches him. She is dressed in what could be

described best as black shiny Victorian fetish wear. Hedonism

motions for her to sit down with him. He summons for his female

slave to bring wine. The female slave pours two glasses of wine

and hands one to Hedonism and one to The Hedonist. The Hedonist and Hedonism clink their glasses as a toast to their union.

Hedonism motions for his male slave to come over and attend to

The Hedonist's every desire. The male slave moves behind The

Hedonist and begins stroking and kissing her neck. The Hedonist

turns her face to the male slave and kisses him passionately. As

they're kissing a nurse enters and straps a collar around The

Hedonist's neck.

Scene 3

INT: Padded Cell

Nurse #1's contorted body is positioned on the chaise lounge.

Nurse #2 has The Hedonist handcuffed with a leash attached to the

collar around her neck. Nurse #2 lays out two lines of a powdered

substance on Nurse #1's contorted body. Nurse #2 snorts a line

off of Nurse #1's body and then commands The Hedonist to do a

line as well. The Hedonist complies.

Music Video Pre Production Madness(literally)

One of the benefits and pitfalls of being an indie, diy musician or whatever they're calling it these days is that you get to do pretty much everything yourself. It's a huge workload and things tend to move slowly, but the work itself is rewarding in a way that I can't even adequately describe with words. I'm a multimedia artist and for me the most fun thing I get to do as a musician is make music videos! I get to use literally every artistic and technical discipline I've ever studied or worked in professionally.

Here's a little step by step visual synopsis of what I've done so far production designwise for one of the scenes for my music video Hedonist.

1. First I needed to design the set.

The concept behind this padded cell is that it is a metaphor for the insanity of addiction which is one of the central themes of the song. The insane subject scrawling the lyrics of the song in blood on the walls of the padded cell is a visual representation of my addict brain feeling trapped, isolated and overwhelmed by the world I created for myself through drug and alcohol abuse.

2. Then I had to make the set(this process almost drove ME insane)

This was a multi step process which involved me having to scavenge bike shop recycling bins for enough cardboard to make the backer pieces for 104 cell pads.

 Did I mention that I had to make 104 padded squares?!?! I had to cut 104  21" x 21" squares of card board, then 104 squares of quilt batting, THEN 104 squares of fabric to cover them with

             

 There was glue gunning and a lot of burned finger tips in the assembly process. After making 104 of these damn cell pads I had to apply layers of "grunge" to make them appear weathered, soiled and old. I used a powdered temepera paint to create a worn effect with layers of dust, mildew, hand prints and oxidation.

3. Costumes!!!!

Ever since I was a child, I have loved playing dress-up. Now I get to do it professionally so this is a dream come true. For this particular scene in the music video there is myself dressed as a disgraced Victorian mental patient and some nurses who symbolize the drugs themselves.

Making my Victorian underwear involved not only sewing it, but also adding a layer of "grunge" to match the filthy aesthetic of the padded cell. To keep the color palette consistent I used the same tempera paint to dirty up my lingerie as seen below.

                  

4. Hair, Make-Up and SFX

For the hair I thought it'd be fun to make and install some synthetic dreads as I figured my character would have been locked away for some time and not have access to a hair brush.

 We experimented with a few make-up looks, but finally decided on a combination of what we played around with. 

 

I also made some long fake dirty fingernails to add to the overall effect and also because there will be some close ups of my hands as I bite a wound into my hand and they scrawl bloody lyrics all over the walls.

5. The Test Shoot!!!

If you've managed to read this far down then congratulations because these are the real money shots from the test shoot where we played with some lighting and visual concepts. The hard work is really paying off and I'm very proud of what we've come up with. So enjoy the fruits of our labor so far!

Surgery: A Visual Metaphor For Domestic Violence

I'm truly grateful to be able to express myself  as Borg Queen through several different mediums. Right now I'm in the thick of production design for another music video for my upcoming album Sex, Drugs & Shiny Brass Poles. The video in question is for Hedonist, a song about domestic violence. Surgery is the visual I've chosen to convey the profoundly deep violation of being abused by a partner. Much like surgery, the recovery process for abuse can be just as painful as the actual acts of abuse.

Today, I designed the surgeon character for the operating room scenes. I'm still torn between which set design I'm going to use for the operating room. Any feedback would be welcome. Let me know which operating room you like best in the comments section.

The Surgeon Character Design For Hedonist

Victorian Inspired Operating Room Set

Retro Inspired Operating Room Set

Costume Design For The Hedonist Music Video

As much as I love trying to promote the hell out of my music video Lapdance Romance what I really love to do is make music videos. As a visual artist and a musician music videos are the perfect medium for a creative such as myself. My next music video Hedonist is what I'm now focusing my attention on.  The music video/song is about a descent into insanity and using various forms of hedonism to escape the pain of domestic abuse. 

Today I came up with a costume design that I'll be wearing in the video. I'll be wearing it in the scenes that take place in the Hedonist's padded cell. 

The Hedonist in her padded cell

The song is based on my own experience with domestic violence and how enduring years of abuse fractured my psyche into different people - The Good Girl(the real me), The Hedonist(the alcoholic me) and The Lunatic(the mentally ill me). The two costumes below are The Hedonist(left) and The Good Girl(right).

The Good Girl

The Hedonist